Close Your Eyes and Hold On!

Ok, so ya know how I was all anticipating a phone call on Monday for the bank job? Yeah well, it never came. So I called and found out the manager who was supposed to call me took the day off. Of course he did! Waiting and making myself sick worrying about what was going to happen. Do I have the job? When do I start? How much should I have packed and ready to go? What if I didn't get the job? Then what do I do? How much longer until I find another job? What, How, When...

Question after question racing through my mind and no answer until I get this one little phone call, which is so unimportant on the other end, obviously. "Tomorrow he will be here and call you."

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

Tuesday comes, I'm feeling a little better after going through scenarios in my head and praying and knowing the Lord is taking care of me. So I wait and call around 9am. "Oh, the manager is in a managers meeting and he's not here." HA! of course he is!! Why wouldn't he be? "I will give him your number and make sure he calls you."

3 o'clock rolls around so I call again. "He's still in a meeting and I PROMISE you he will call you(Guess when! Yep!) TOMORROW"!

Guess what?!?!? It's TOMORROW! haha and, well, still no phone call. Are you kidding me?!?!

Sigh. Can you say Frustration?!

Now, I loooove amusement parks with all the rides and roller coasters! My favorites are even the ones that go upside down! Love the feeling of slowly, slowly, click....click...clicking your way up to the top of the very first plummet towards the earth. The anticipation causing your heart to race, clenching your teeth, holding on for dear life making you sick to your stomach adrenalin rush, you're eyes are closed, not knowing when you're getting to the top, not knowing when you're going to drop, waiting...click...click... ANY DAY NOW!!!!!! Goodness gracious I can't handle this anymore! This must be the largest drop in history and I'm not sure I'm ready. I just want to get to the top already so I can scream out all of these emotions that I have built up. One little phone call will determine so incredibly much.

Sad isn't it?

I'm feeling more at peace with whatever happens though, no matter what the outcome. Either way it's what God wants and I have to figure out what I am supposed to learn from everything and just enjoy the ride. I'm closing my eyes, holding on for dear life and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it while giving God the glory and trusting He's not going to let me plummet towards the earth without a seatbelt.

One way to enjoy the ride is with friends and pumpkins. I went to a pumpkin carving party at Donella's tonight. Had a great time with food, friends, and pumpkin guts everywhere! MMmm Nummy! Trying to decide what you are going to carve into the pumpkin is that hardest part! I finally just figured I would carve leaves all over. I ended up just doing one detailed leaf and I LOVE how it turned out. So of course I had to take a picture to share with everyone. :)

Enjoy!

And until next time, just close your eyes, hold on and enjoy the ride!

A Day Away

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you're onlyyyyy a daaaaay aaaawaaaayyyyy! ...as Annie would say. Tomorrow is only a day away but couldn't come soon enough.

I was hoping to hear from the bank Friday to see if I got the job or not. In the interview last Tuesday I was told I would be contacted Friday, or at the latest Monday. Well, to torture me even further and make me wait even longer, they are supposedly waiting until Monday. "At the latest." The church job fell through sadly enough, so me moving is kind of riding on this job at the moment. That freaks me out just a tad bit. If I don't get it, I'm not really sure what I will be doing.... other then praying more, continue looking and applying for jobs down there and work as much as I can in the school district. And if by God's grace I get the job, I will be starting Nov. 2. which oh my word is fast!

So taking a deep breath, going back to my childhood, and belting out, Tomorrow! You're only a day away!!!!!!

I did another senior session yesterday with Gloria. I love this time of year and yesterday's weather was perfect for pictures!! Between her hair and her bright smile, she was a blast! By the end of the session, she was a pro at smiling, not smiling, and even laughing on q. It was fabulous!

Gloria, thank you for a great time and hope you enjoy your sneak peak! :)

Until next time, No matter how things are going, tomorrow is only a day away!!

Getting Lost

Is it just me, or is it ironic that while trying to move to pursue photography after 3 years of trying to do it here, I just now start getting booked solid for pictures? No one can tell me the Lord does not have a sense of humor. Seriously! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all, I just might be a tad annoyed, haha.

Saying "no" is definitely not in my everyday vocabulary. I very rarely take it out, dust it off, use it, only to feel bad for doing so in the end anyway. Something I should probably work on. When it comes to something I enjoy and would make someones day, I just can't let people down. That then equates to my stress level going up and a packed full schedule. Add to that the situation I am in. This is where trusting in the Lord really comes into play.

I would never admit this to anyone, so don't tell, but I am really scared. I have no idea what I've done. I have quit one of the best jobs I've had before getting another one, started packing up without a place to live yet, started thinking about saying goodbye to people who have truely changed my life, and my bank account is slowly dwindling away. Life is about taking risks right? Whoever said that must have never takin' any risks and been just a lil insane. No one in their right mind would encourage this horrible feeling that keeps you up at night. Do I regret it?

Never.

Being a photographer gives me a chance to get lost. Lost in the beauty of people, of nature, finding the greatness of the world around us that God has created, and making the ordinary extraordinary. While forgetting everything else, and letting that stress level come down to almost nothing. I thank you all SO much for the encouragement and to those who I've been able to get lost with.

Chelsea darling, you were so fun to photograph! You have one of the most beautiful smiles and I loved how hard it was for you to not! Thank you for really wanting me to document your senior year, something you will remember forever and I hope I did you justice! Can't wait to show you the rest. :)

Until next time, what makes you get lost?

Later

Hey! Over here! No, over there... no here, no, what are you doing? Go over there? Here? Aaaah!!!!

You know what I feel like? I feel like one of those dopey, way-too-much-energy, yellow labs when your holding a ball in front, moving it around pretending like you're going to throw it, you lift it up and... searching for it everywhere, back and forth, faster and faster, going in circles not finding it, to realize its still in the hand that supposedly threw it. Yeah no... the ball was not thrown. PSYCHE!! Just how mean is that?!?!

Well, I'm officially no longer an employee at the YMCA. I can't comprehend that quite yet. Thursday and Friday were interesting. Fighting back tears after each person conveyed how much I will be missed. I knew there were a lot of people I interacted with, but had no idea the impact I had or the people that I had affected. It's truly overwhelming. I will miss everyone one so much!! Its not a goodbye though, definitely a "see ya later!"

After going in circles and playing phone tag with Wells Fargo, I finally ended up with a second interview. It will be with the branch manager in Tigard on Tuesday morning. Monday on my way down, I will call the church letting them know I will be in the area again and see what kind of progress they've made with the resumes and if I can schedule an interview. Yes, I am being pushy, way more pushy then I have ever been, but I truly want that job!

Michelle bought me flowers Thursday. I got cards, gifts and more flowers Friday. My card sang to me!!! "I'm SO excited! and I just can't hide it!!" I absolutely Loved it!!! I figured I should take a picture, cause well, thats what I do, so I can post one with the blog. :)

Until next time, It's never a goodbye, it's always a "Later"

I have Faith!

Sitting, huddled up, freezing and soaking wet from the crashing waves and 30 knot winds swirling around me...maybe even thunder and lightening. I love lightening, so lets say theres lightening! If I were literally on a dock, this is what would be happening. This jumping off the dock thing is a lot harder then what I was expecting. Now... just waiting for the storm to pass to see if it's safe to jump. 'Cause I am definitely not gonna drown myself!

So... I have stumped 5 doctors so far with my ankle. I have to take 12 ibuprofen a day for a week to see if that helps at all. (I hate taking pills) Seeing new people each time I go in means I have to explain from the beginning whats been going on and why I am there. Its so incredibly frustrating!!! I saw two doctors today, at the same time, one even an ankle and foot doctor, and they both have no idea whats wrong. My x-rays are normal, blood tests are normal, and I'm healthy. It sounds like I should be fine right?! But yet I still can't walk without sharp pains shootin through my ankle and the minor detail of not being able to turn it. They should be calling me in a week to tell me what to do. They were talking about seeing a radiologist and a bone scan.

Jobs. Portland. Trip. I haven't told you what happened after that have I!? Wow, so much for trying to keep up! So much has happened. In a very small nutshell, the trip was great! I can totally see myself living in Hillsboro and it got me very excited! Interview went well with the bank and I am calling Thursday to see if theres still a position open. I saw and met with someone from the church. She showed me around and I left feeling that that is where I should be.

I'm calling the church tomorrow to see where they are. They are all volunteers going through the hiring process, so its taking a little longer then normal. Praying Praying Praying!!!

In the mean time, my last day at the YMCA is Friday. If everything else wasn't stressful enough, now I wont have a secure job. I'm still on sub status in the school district but I can't count on a job everyday. I have money saved up, but its for when I move, not for when I'm in limbo still here in PA. If I have to use it, of course I will, but I really don't want to if I can help it. I have lots of photo business keeping me busy as well, which thank the good Lord I will have some income coming in from that.

My computer is driving me insane. I do everything on my laptop, and for as much photography work as I've been doing, its not sufficient. But I have no choice. (sorry to everyone who's waiting!)

Ankle. Pain. Job, and Lack Thereof. Pictures. Pictures. Pictures. Computer. Packing. And and and.... I'm shocked I can't see the lightening!!! At least it would be something pretty to watch while I'm sitting here freezing wet and waiting.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

I did a senior session with Gabbie Saturday. I mentioned she could bring props and she brought two of the best props!!! A pink chair and an awesome old umbrella! I had such a good time and very happy with how the pics turned out! She has gorgeous eyes and I just love her hair! Oh, and her purple shoes! hehe Enjoy!

²³Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. ²⁴Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. ²⁵The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"

²⁶He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

Matthew 8:23-26

Until next time, Pray for the storm to subside. I have faith! :) Do you?

My First!

Portrait Parties!! An awesome idea. If you dont know what they are, go to my website, Kika's Photography and check it out :)

Today was my first party with Jenn. Two other families joined her at the pumpkin patch and even with the bright beautiful sunlight shinning down, I thought it went quite well! Well enough to go through the all the pics and find some favs to post already. Yep! Making that TWO blog posts in ONE day! Oh my! I don't know if that means I just have to wait extra long for the next post to keep with my trend, or if means I actually have to start getting better at posting more often. Either way, here they are!

Thanks guys! I had fun :)

Now to go pack and get ready to leave in the morning... See ya!

Jenn and her Family! Precious!

She just turned FOUR and she was very excited about it! She was adorable!

I Can See The Edge!

It's starting. I'm actually going down to Portland tomorrow. I have an interview Tuesday morning with Wells Fargo. It's not the only place I've applied, and it's not the one that I am truly praying for.

Trying to find a job online is not the easiest task as those of you may know. When I first applied at Wells Fargo, I was so excited to receive a call back and a phone interview. I prayed, almost begging, that I could get that job! I knew that I shouldn't stop applying to places though, at least not stop looking. So still only wanting the teller position, I would just go online and look. Nothing then seemed appealing at all after knowing what I really wanted. Or so I thought.

I have grown up in a Lutheran church and have always been involved for as long as I can remember. From singing in the choir to directing it, being in youth group to leading it, playing the trumpet during worship, leading and teaching Vacation Bible School and so on. Why this random bunny trail?? Well, in the mists of all the admin/receptionist/customer service jobs that I've been looking through, there it was. "Lutheran." "Lutheran Church Administrator!" At first I wasn't all that thrilled, but it did perk my interest enough to apply, unlike every other listing I found after the Wells Fargo call. I told my mom about it, I e-mail my pastor about it, talked about it to others, and the more I talked about it, the more excited I got. I wrote up a cover letter and sent it in along with my resume. This would be the absolute perfect job. It puts right into a community with fellow Christians, is exactly what I want as far as the kind of admin/secretary work I've been looking for, and it's working in a church like I've done all my life! Not to mention I am wanting to pursue becoming a WEDDING photographer! And where do a tons of weddings take place?? That's right! A CHURCH! haha It all matches up with everything I am looking for. Now... if it's what the Lord wants, thats a different story. We shall wait and find out, but in the mean time, I am going to try everything in my power to try and get that job.

Monday, after I get down to Portland, I am going to go see the church and go introduce myself. :) Monday is technically the last day they are taking applications, so thats perfect timing. Pray for me!

Now... my ankle. Oh my word, can you say frustration!? Survived getting my blood drawn and it came back as normal. I am fine and healthy and they STILL don't know whats wrong. I had to go back and do more x-rays and make another appointment for next Thursday. Until then, I have to wear yet another air cast and just wait. Oh joy! The Lord is teaching me patience in oh so many ways.

Last but not least, here are some pictures of Jim and Jan Thomasson with their 5 very well loved dogs they call their kids.

Funny story; Donella and Jim used to play racquetball together at the Y. Jim still comes in every Tuesday and Thursday to play and thats how I got to know him. My mom grooms dogs, and Jan has brought two of the five pups to her for a couple years now. When Donella and Jeff had their reception in town, Jim and Jan attended as well as my mom. Jan sat by my mom and introduced Jim to her and asked how she knew Donella. She pointed over to me and it all clicked. Boy is it a small town and oh how I am going to miss it!

They asked me to take their family pictures and I was very happy to oblige. They are the sweetest nicest couple with very well behaved "children" and a beautiful home!

Thank you Jim and Jan for inviting my friend and I into your lives. It was most certainly my pleasure and I hope in return you love your pictures as much as I loved taking them. :)

So until next time, pray for a productive and safe trip down to Portland! I'll fill ya'll in when I get back.

Happy Sunday.