Getting Lost

Is it just me, or is it ironic that while trying to move to pursue photography after 3 years of trying to do it here, I just now start getting booked solid for pictures? No one can tell me the Lord does not have a sense of humor. Seriously! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all, I just might be a tad annoyed, haha.

Saying "no" is definitely not in my everyday vocabulary. I very rarely take it out, dust it off, use it, only to feel bad for doing so in the end anyway. Something I should probably work on. When it comes to something I enjoy and would make someones day, I just can't let people down. That then equates to my stress level going up and a packed full schedule. Add to that the situation I am in. This is where trusting in the Lord really comes into play.

I would never admit this to anyone, so don't tell, but I am really scared. I have no idea what I've done. I have quit one of the best jobs I've had before getting another one, started packing up without a place to live yet, started thinking about saying goodbye to people who have truely changed my life, and my bank account is slowly dwindling away. Life is about taking risks right? Whoever said that must have never takin' any risks and been just a lil insane. No one in their right mind would encourage this horrible feeling that keeps you up at night. Do I regret it?

Never.

Being a photographer gives me a chance to get lost. Lost in the beauty of people, of nature, finding the greatness of the world around us that God has created, and making the ordinary extraordinary. While forgetting everything else, and letting that stress level come down to almost nothing. I thank you all SO much for the encouragement and to those who I've been able to get lost with.

Chelsea darling, you were so fun to photograph! You have one of the most beautiful smiles and I loved how hard it was for you to not! Thank you for really wanting me to document your senior year, something you will remember forever and I hope I did you justice! Can't wait to show you the rest. :)

Until next time, what makes you get lost?

Later

Hey! Over here! No, over there... no here, no, what are you doing? Go over there? Here? Aaaah!!!!

You know what I feel like? I feel like one of those dopey, way-too-much-energy, yellow labs when your holding a ball in front, moving it around pretending like you're going to throw it, you lift it up and... searching for it everywhere, back and forth, faster and faster, going in circles not finding it, to realize its still in the hand that supposedly threw it. Yeah no... the ball was not thrown. PSYCHE!! Just how mean is that?!?!

Well, I'm officially no longer an employee at the YMCA. I can't comprehend that quite yet. Thursday and Friday were interesting. Fighting back tears after each person conveyed how much I will be missed. I knew there were a lot of people I interacted with, but had no idea the impact I had or the people that I had affected. It's truly overwhelming. I will miss everyone one so much!! Its not a goodbye though, definitely a "see ya later!"

After going in circles and playing phone tag with Wells Fargo, I finally ended up with a second interview. It will be with the branch manager in Tigard on Tuesday morning. Monday on my way down, I will call the church letting them know I will be in the area again and see what kind of progress they've made with the resumes and if I can schedule an interview. Yes, I am being pushy, way more pushy then I have ever been, but I truly want that job!

Michelle bought me flowers Thursday. I got cards, gifts and more flowers Friday. My card sang to me!!! "I'm SO excited! and I just can't hide it!!" I absolutely Loved it!!! I figured I should take a picture, cause well, thats what I do, so I can post one with the blog. :)

Until next time, It's never a goodbye, it's always a "Later"

I have Faith!

Sitting, huddled up, freezing and soaking wet from the crashing waves and 30 knot winds swirling around me...maybe even thunder and lightening. I love lightening, so lets say theres lightening! If I were literally on a dock, this is what would be happening. This jumping off the dock thing is a lot harder then what I was expecting. Now... just waiting for the storm to pass to see if it's safe to jump. 'Cause I am definitely not gonna drown myself!

So... I have stumped 5 doctors so far with my ankle. I have to take 12 ibuprofen a day for a week to see if that helps at all. (I hate taking pills) Seeing new people each time I go in means I have to explain from the beginning whats been going on and why I am there. Its so incredibly frustrating!!! I saw two doctors today, at the same time, one even an ankle and foot doctor, and they both have no idea whats wrong. My x-rays are normal, blood tests are normal, and I'm healthy. It sounds like I should be fine right?! But yet I still can't walk without sharp pains shootin through my ankle and the minor detail of not being able to turn it. They should be calling me in a week to tell me what to do. They were talking about seeing a radiologist and a bone scan.

Jobs. Portland. Trip. I haven't told you what happened after that have I!? Wow, so much for trying to keep up! So much has happened. In a very small nutshell, the trip was great! I can totally see myself living in Hillsboro and it got me very excited! Interview went well with the bank and I am calling Thursday to see if theres still a position open. I saw and met with someone from the church. She showed me around and I left feeling that that is where I should be.

I'm calling the church tomorrow to see where they are. They are all volunteers going through the hiring process, so its taking a little longer then normal. Praying Praying Praying!!!

In the mean time, my last day at the YMCA is Friday. If everything else wasn't stressful enough, now I wont have a secure job. I'm still on sub status in the school district but I can't count on a job everyday. I have money saved up, but its for when I move, not for when I'm in limbo still here in PA. If I have to use it, of course I will, but I really don't want to if I can help it. I have lots of photo business keeping me busy as well, which thank the good Lord I will have some income coming in from that.

My computer is driving me insane. I do everything on my laptop, and for as much photography work as I've been doing, its not sufficient. But I have no choice. (sorry to everyone who's waiting!)

Ankle. Pain. Job, and Lack Thereof. Pictures. Pictures. Pictures. Computer. Packing. And and and.... I'm shocked I can't see the lightening!!! At least it would be something pretty to watch while I'm sitting here freezing wet and waiting.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

I did a senior session with Gabbie Saturday. I mentioned she could bring props and she brought two of the best props!!! A pink chair and an awesome old umbrella! I had such a good time and very happy with how the pics turned out! She has gorgeous eyes and I just love her hair! Oh, and her purple shoes! hehe Enjoy!

²³Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. ²⁴Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. ²⁵The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"

²⁶He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

Matthew 8:23-26

Until next time, Pray for the storm to subside. I have faith! :) Do you?

My First!

Portrait Parties!! An awesome idea. If you dont know what they are, go to my website, Kika's Photography and check it out :)

Today was my first party with Jenn. Two other families joined her at the pumpkin patch and even with the bright beautiful sunlight shinning down, I thought it went quite well! Well enough to go through the all the pics and find some favs to post already. Yep! Making that TWO blog posts in ONE day! Oh my! I don't know if that means I just have to wait extra long for the next post to keep with my trend, or if means I actually have to start getting better at posting more often. Either way, here they are!

Thanks guys! I had fun :)

Now to go pack and get ready to leave in the morning... See ya!

Jenn and her Family! Precious!

She just turned FOUR and she was very excited about it! She was adorable!

I Can See The Edge!

It's starting. I'm actually going down to Portland tomorrow. I have an interview Tuesday morning with Wells Fargo. It's not the only place I've applied, and it's not the one that I am truly praying for.

Trying to find a job online is not the easiest task as those of you may know. When I first applied at Wells Fargo, I was so excited to receive a call back and a phone interview. I prayed, almost begging, that I could get that job! I knew that I shouldn't stop applying to places though, at least not stop looking. So still only wanting the teller position, I would just go online and look. Nothing then seemed appealing at all after knowing what I really wanted. Or so I thought.

I have grown up in a Lutheran church and have always been involved for as long as I can remember. From singing in the choir to directing it, being in youth group to leading it, playing the trumpet during worship, leading and teaching Vacation Bible School and so on. Why this random bunny trail?? Well, in the mists of all the admin/receptionist/customer service jobs that I've been looking through, there it was. "Lutheran." "Lutheran Church Administrator!" At first I wasn't all that thrilled, but it did perk my interest enough to apply, unlike every other listing I found after the Wells Fargo call. I told my mom about it, I e-mail my pastor about it, talked about it to others, and the more I talked about it, the more excited I got. I wrote up a cover letter and sent it in along with my resume. This would be the absolute perfect job. It puts right into a community with fellow Christians, is exactly what I want as far as the kind of admin/secretary work I've been looking for, and it's working in a church like I've done all my life! Not to mention I am wanting to pursue becoming a WEDDING photographer! And where do a tons of weddings take place?? That's right! A CHURCH! haha It all matches up with everything I am looking for. Now... if it's what the Lord wants, thats a different story. We shall wait and find out, but in the mean time, I am going to try everything in my power to try and get that job.

Monday, after I get down to Portland, I am going to go see the church and go introduce myself. :) Monday is technically the last day they are taking applications, so thats perfect timing. Pray for me!

Now... my ankle. Oh my word, can you say frustration!? Survived getting my blood drawn and it came back as normal. I am fine and healthy and they STILL don't know whats wrong. I had to go back and do more x-rays and make another appointment for next Thursday. Until then, I have to wear yet another air cast and just wait. Oh joy! The Lord is teaching me patience in oh so many ways.

Last but not least, here are some pictures of Jim and Jan Thomasson with their 5 very well loved dogs they call their kids.

Funny story; Donella and Jim used to play racquetball together at the Y. Jim still comes in every Tuesday and Thursday to play and thats how I got to know him. My mom grooms dogs, and Jan has brought two of the five pups to her for a couple years now. When Donella and Jeff had their reception in town, Jim and Jan attended as well as my mom. Jan sat by my mom and introduced Jim to her and asked how she knew Donella. She pointed over to me and it all clicked. Boy is it a small town and oh how I am going to miss it!

They asked me to take their family pictures and I was very happy to oblige. They are the sweetest nicest couple with very well behaved "children" and a beautiful home!

Thank you Jim and Jan for inviting my friend and I into your lives. It was most certainly my pleasure and I hope in return you love your pictures as much as I loved taking them. :)

So until next time, pray for a productive and safe trip down to Portland! I'll fill ya'll in when I get back.

Happy Sunday.

Resolution...?

...maybe.

I was the sickest I have ever been and it seemed like it went on forever! Well, it didn't, but it sure left behind some really horrible memories. I think I got poked at least 10 times in each arm and in my hands. Thinking I might have mono, they didn't want to give up, and in return, left me black and blue and sick all over. I hate needles. They scare me and bring back those horrid memories from my childhood. But, tomorrow, I'm going to face one of my biggest fears and get my blood drawn. I can do this! I NEED to do this.

I woke Wednesday and couldn't walk. Literally. My ankle was tingling and it felt like someone took a sludge hammer to it. I called Donella to cancel swimming and debated whether or not to call into both the school and the Y to cancel work as well. I need the hours and didn't want to, but my ankle brought me to tears and figured I wouldn't be much help anyway. So I called in and then got numbers to call different places in town for help. The VIMO clinic didn't have any openings until Oct. 26th, but they suggested going to the free walk-in clinic in Sequim. They only take 12 people and are only open Thursdays and Mondays, but I needed to try. I called in and asked for Thursday off and the rest of the day was pretty much just sitting around. Sitting so much my but hurt but yet couldn't walk, I was in great shape!

My mom graciously came with me Thursday afternoon. The clinic opened at 5pm but was told to get there early, so we got there around 3:40pm. It was nice not sitting there all alone waiting for them to put out the numbers. There was even free wifi I could get on my Ipod Touch! They opened the door at 4:20 and a mad rush went for that #1 spot. My mom went up and retrieved the number for me and I ended being #5. I was technically the third person there waiting, but people are pushy!...waiting, and more waiting, I finally saw a doctor who was incredibly nice. She asked the typical questions; do you smoke? No. Drugs? NO!... and my personal favorite; Are you pregnant? yeah...Not!

After more to the point interrogation, she doesn't think I have a spur. Supposedly it wouldn't be this painful. Instead, we are testing for 4-5 different things and the top two are arthritis and tendinitis. Ooo Yay! Super stoked about that. The nurse there called the VIMO clinic in town and got me an appointment for Oct. 1, NOT Oct. 26th!

Tomorrow (Monday) morning I will be brave and get my blood taken. Thursday I have an appointment after my first photography class ends at 8:10pm. Another doctor will look at the test results and my x-rays again to get a second opinion. Praying it's not something serious and I will be able to get it fixed.

On a happy note! I had a great weekend! Did a vendor show downtown, didn't sell anything, but had a lot of encouraging words and handed out a lot of business cards! So thank you to those who came by :) It's great practice if nothing else.

Despite everything, I feel so blessed. I can sit here and smile through it all and know it's going to be ok. God is good!

This seems weird, but here are some pictures of, well, my pictures! haha

Until next time, Smile, God loves you too. :)

Dizzy

Thousands of miles an hour…

…And that’s just my head spinning!

I’m running in circles as fast as I can to keep up, and boy am I dizzy! Ha. I had a few days there where I wanted to run and scream like a little girl off the dock towards solid ground, but I guess being dizzy stopped me, turned me around and now I am back facing the end of the dock. I’m exhausted!

My ankle has been in much unwelcoming pain the last 6 months. Yes, that’s right, six whole months. I FINALLY went and did something about it almost a month ago after multiple times of waking up and not being able to walk. Plus the nagging of very good friends telling me to go to the doctor (Thanks guys) So, I went to the ER. I HATE the ER, but I guess I’m not alone on that one.

I called the free clinic in town and it would have been at least another month before I could go in. You would think after 5 months, one more month wouldn’t make a difference, but I was sick of not being able to walk and not knowing what was wrong with it. I don’t have a doctor, insurance, or money, so the ER it was.

I get into a room at the hospital after not too long of a wait (shocking) and they ask me questions and then took x-rays. They said they didn’t see anything in the x-ray and told me to not wear flip flops, which, for those who know me, is like asking a turtle to live out of its shell. That’s just mean! I also have to elevate it and ice it unreasonable intervals during the day. I have reluctantly worn tennis shoes and for the first few days afterward tried to elevate and ice it. I still can’t turn it or walk on it half the mornings, and limp around everywhere I go. It burns, swells, and hurts like none other most of the time. I had someone who saw my x-rays tell me that I have a bone spur. I did some research and it sure looks like she was right! I don’t know why the hospital wouldn’t tell me and just send me on my way!

I got billed for the ER visit and it was almost $600, not to mention the rest of the medical bills I have from when I had bronchitis. I applied for medical assistance giving my situation, and went down the other day to check on it to find out I got denied. I’m not blind, disabled (yet), and I don’t have any children. So I went and applied for financial aid at the hospital and still waiting to hear back.

Needless to say, I am not a happy camper with all of this.

On a happier note, I sent out several applications and resumes to people and got an email from Wellsfargo saying to call this number within 24 hours. So I did and it was a phone interview! Which I was totally not ready for! “Explain a conflict you’ve had dealing with customers and how you’ve solved it,” yeah… SO not ready for that one, umm, yeah, ok, MmHmm, sure. Aaaahhhh????? Haha I think it went well, I don’t know. I don’t know if they send that to everyone that applies and it means totally nothing and I’m not any closer to a job then I was 2 weeks ago, or if it does mean something and maybe I am closer…? Who knows! There’s just a LOT of praying and begging going on.

I’ll try not to keep all my adoring fans (All two of you… Hello mom! Hehe) waiting and keep ya’ll updated if and when I find something out.

Here’s a pic or two just for fun. Kelly... when we went to the beach with Polar. Found some shade and leaves. I looooove leaves and her husband supposedly loooooves Kelly’s pretty eyes! And who could blame him! ;)

Until next time…

Kika